What if? It's always nice to think of what would happen to you, say had you chosen a different path at sometime earlier on. This has happened to me quite frequently, and as I grow older now I realized that it is actually a very destructive way of thinking.
Years ago during my worst period of time, I indulged myself thinking about what career would I had chosen for a better future. Obviously the term "better" could have been anything else besides being actually better. At that time I was thinking:
- Should have become a petroleum engineer
- Should have become a doctor/pharmacist
- Confused between choosing IT, engineering and finance field
Well good thing now is that I am back to workforce again and such thoughts have subsided. But anyway to add to my previous list:
- Should have become management consultant
- Should have become some kind of hedge fund or portfolio manager
- Temporary thoughts of becoming a monk
To close off those thoughts, I assigned reasons to the list on why it can't be done. Just for my personal musings anyway.
- Petroleum engineer - never thought of doing that since was into IT and electronics during primary/high school
- Doctor/pharmacist - almost impossible to get into public Uni on that subject; private is too costly - min RM 500,000
- Confusion between IT, engineering and finance - happened due to no long term career planning
- Management consultant - don't have much leadership roles in Uni time and degree is non-foreign University, which means won't get to become consultant in companies like Accenture
- Hedge fund/portfolio manager - no Ivy League? No chance
- Monk - being a monk is actually very hard life; after going through scriptures found them to be non sensical; chanting etc not my thing
In terms of spirituality, I think having a lot of what ifs is very bad. Imagine if you were dead and you meet God - if you still have a lot of what ifs, that would mean you have many attachments to the past. Sure, God can probably grant you the wish to go back in time and let you fulfill your "what if" scenario - but the problem is you will never be satisfied with the new condition and you would think of other "what if" scenarios again. And when you die again, you will be asked the same question again and the whole cycle would repeat endlessly.
That probably means you will be in an endless loop of negative existences and never realizing it. Now that's really Samsara and terrible! Lesson to learn is to always move forward, especially if encountered negative events. No one likes having bad things happen to them, the gist of it is on how to deal with such situation. You can either surrender or face it with positive attitudes.